I'll do just about anything to keep from seeing an allopathic doctor. I had a lifetime of mostly bad experience with specialists and surgeons while a teenager. But since the age of 17, I've suffered from depression and anxiety. Most of that time I have been on meds. Most of that time I did not really like my doctors. At best I felt they were just guessing and at worst they were idiots. Part of the disease is the aversion to taking the meds. As a Christian, from time to time I question myself. If I truly gave this up to God, if my faith were just stronger, I'd be healed.
About 12 years ago Greg & I began seeing a GP that we both really like. He remembers from visit to visit who we are and that we are a family. About 3 years ago, I'd really had it with seeing psychiatrists who always seemed to prescribe the drug whose logo graced his coffee cup and note pad. They didn't listen. So I went to my GP with my baggage. He did listen, and after talking for quite a while we came to the conclusion that I was indeed mildly bipolar. With a bit of trial and error we've found meds that do help me. I discovered quite a while back that he is a Christian. My ring tone was a Newsboys song, and my phone rang while I was in his office. He commented that he really liked that song. We talked a little about that and he asked where I go to church. Since then, when I go for my med checks he'll ask me if I'm still making it to church and little things like that. Well I went to see him yesterday because I've been having panic attacks. We talked about what's been going on around me - stuff like my sisters not speaking to each other and Joey's illness. I told him I've been feeling like I'm failing those who need me. I told him I felt like if I just believed enough, I'd be healed. He said any feeling of guilt or condemnation is an attack straight out of the pit of hell and to recognize it as such and talk back to it. He recommended staying active with my church and keeping in contact with a Christian support system. I told him about my CCU sisters :). He even said, "It's very important to stay in the Word."
How blessed am I??
"Real wisdom is not the knowledge of everything, but the knowledge of which things in life are necessary, which are less necessary, and which are completely unnecessary to know." Leo Tolstoy
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Beautiful Babies
Babies sure have a way of reminding us how time marches on.
My great-nephew Joey had his surgery just a week ago and is doing fabulously. He's gone from being able to keep down just 1.5 to 2 ounces of formula in the past to taking 6 ounces at a time. They've also taken him off of the cereal for now. He had over a foot of his colon removed, and as little as he is, there can't be too much left. I can only imagine how his mom feels, having to give him an enema everyday since Oct. 2nd, and now she doesn't. Their planning a "poop party" in a few weeks to celebrate.
And Miss Stella, our niece, is growing like crazy (finally!) Momma's milk is doing her body good. It's such a joy to watch my SIL fall so in love with this little girl. They are nursing and co-sleeping, trying to find the right sling, and she's asked me about cloth diapers. I gave her my Dr. Sears Baby Book while she was pregnant and she loves it. She just graduated from UNO in Education, so it'll be interesting to see if she ends up homeschooling. I have my crossables crossed!
My great-nephew Joey had his surgery just a week ago and is doing fabulously. He's gone from being able to keep down just 1.5 to 2 ounces of formula in the past to taking 6 ounces at a time. They've also taken him off of the cereal for now. He had over a foot of his colon removed, and as little as he is, there can't be too much left. I can only imagine how his mom feels, having to give him an enema everyday since Oct. 2nd, and now she doesn't. Their planning a "poop party" in a few weeks to celebrate.
And Miss Stella, our niece, is growing like crazy (finally!) Momma's milk is doing her body good. It's such a joy to watch my SIL fall so in love with this little girl. They are nursing and co-sleeping, trying to find the right sling, and she's asked me about cloth diapers. I gave her my Dr. Sears Baby Book while she was pregnant and she loves it. She just graduated from UNO in Education, so it'll be interesting to see if she ends up homeschooling. I have my crossables crossed!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Wii did it!!!
We all agreed several months ago that we'd be getting a Wii as our big Christmas gift. We've also known that by the time we had the money, there'd be no Wiis. We'd all come to terms with that. I'd even decided to not go around trying to chase one down before stores ran out.
Then I saw on the news last weekend that Friday morning (2 days ago), GameStop stores would be selling Wii rainchecks, guaranteeing delivery by January 25th. Knowing how hard they are to get, that sounded like a great deal to us. No trying to hunt one down. So Tuesday night, I stopped in at GameStop and talked to one of the associates (John). He very strongly suggested I check with him in the morning(Weds.), early. So Wednesday morning, Gregory and I go off on our quest. It was short and sweet. John had already gotten a call from his UPS driver - no Wiis today. So we did it again Thursday morning. Thurs., he hadn't heard from his UPS man, so we waited, along with 2 other customers until around 11:30 when UPS got there. Again, no Wiis. I could tell John was very disappointed for us. He asked if we'd be coming for a raincheck and I assured him we would. He told us to get there early; they only had 12 rainchecks to sell.
So Friday morning, with snacks, drinks, DS, my crochet bag, and an old blanket to sit on, we headed out at 7:30. We were the second people there. I had flashbacks of camping out for concert tickets, but we all waited calmly in our cars. By the time they opened at 9:00, there were only 3 of us waiting. I called DH and let him know that if anyone at his office was interested, they'd better come now. So we go home quite happy Friday morning, confident that we'd have a Wii within a month.
At about 8:30 Friday night, the phone rings. Gregory comes running, phone in hand, calling "EB games! EB games!" (they've only recently changed name to GameStop). I answered. It was John. "Penny, I have your Wii." We were there in about 10 minutes, and playing by 9:30. We love it!
Then I saw on the news last weekend that Friday morning (2 days ago), GameStop stores would be selling Wii rainchecks, guaranteeing delivery by January 25th. Knowing how hard they are to get, that sounded like a great deal to us. No trying to hunt one down. So Tuesday night, I stopped in at GameStop and talked to one of the associates (John). He very strongly suggested I check with him in the morning(Weds.), early. So Wednesday morning, Gregory and I go off on our quest. It was short and sweet. John had already gotten a call from his UPS driver - no Wiis today. So we did it again Thursday morning. Thurs., he hadn't heard from his UPS man, so we waited, along with 2 other customers until around 11:30 when UPS got there. Again, no Wiis. I could tell John was very disappointed for us. He asked if we'd be coming for a raincheck and I assured him we would. He told us to get there early; they only had 12 rainchecks to sell.
So Friday morning, with snacks, drinks, DS, my crochet bag, and an old blanket to sit on, we headed out at 7:30. We were the second people there. I had flashbacks of camping out for concert tickets, but we all waited calmly in our cars. By the time they opened at 9:00, there were only 3 of us waiting. I called DH and let him know that if anyone at his office was interested, they'd better come now. So we go home quite happy Friday morning, confident that we'd have a Wii within a month.
At about 8:30 Friday night, the phone rings. Gregory comes running, phone in hand, calling "EB games! EB games!" (they've only recently changed name to GameStop). I answered. It was John. "Penny, I have your Wii." We were there in about 10 minutes, and playing by 9:30. We love it!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Grrrr
Okay, I am really working on letting this go, but I think I have to type it out to do that. When is the allopathic medical community going to recognize the importance of breastmilk??? (That is a rhetorical question - I do know the answer is *never*)
Little Joey has an intestinal disease. We know that his intestines do not function properly. But are the doctors promoting breast milk for him since it is the perfect food for him? **** no!
He's back in the hospital and this time they suspect it is reflux unrelated to his Hirshsprung's disease. So what are they recommending for this 6-week-old baby? They want Mom to try adding some rice cereal to his formula. The sound you just heard was my head exploding.
Did you know that in their entire medical schooling doctors get a 2-hour lecture on breastfeeding? And I don't mean a semester class worth 2-hrs credit. I mean literally 120 minutes of someone talking and that is it!
Don't get me wrong, this is not just the doctor's fault. It just doesn't matter to way too many people. And that really breaks my heart. I hurt for every baby who doesn't get to breastfeed. Now I'm not talking about those who try and are not successful. Sometimes, it really doesn't work out, and for those cases I am glad formula exists (still sad, but understanding). I would never judge a woman I see bottle-feeding. First of all, I don't know what's in the bottle. It could be breastmilk and for some reason the baby won't nurse, or mom is not comfortable nursing in public. Or perhaps this mom tried her best and it didn't work out and her heart is broken over it. I am talking about those who really don't want to breastfeed. Those who think it's yucky or it ties them down too much. And I know way to many of them.
I'm starting to feel a tug in the direction of becoming a lactation consultant. I've just done some basic research and it seems harder than I thought it would be. But I still feel the tug. Maybe that's what I'll be when I grow up.
Little Joey has an intestinal disease. We know that his intestines do not function properly. But are the doctors promoting breast milk for him since it is the perfect food for him? **** no!
He's back in the hospital and this time they suspect it is reflux unrelated to his Hirshsprung's disease. So what are they recommending for this 6-week-old baby? They want Mom to try adding some rice cereal to his formula. The sound you just heard was my head exploding.
Did you know that in their entire medical schooling doctors get a 2-hour lecture on breastfeeding? And I don't mean a semester class worth 2-hrs credit. I mean literally 120 minutes of someone talking and that is it!
Don't get me wrong, this is not just the doctor's fault. It just doesn't matter to way too many people. And that really breaks my heart. I hurt for every baby who doesn't get to breastfeed. Now I'm not talking about those who try and are not successful. Sometimes, it really doesn't work out, and for those cases I am glad formula exists (still sad, but understanding). I would never judge a woman I see bottle-feeding. First of all, I don't know what's in the bottle. It could be breastmilk and for some reason the baby won't nurse, or mom is not comfortable nursing in public. Or perhaps this mom tried her best and it didn't work out and her heart is broken over it. I am talking about those who really don't want to breastfeed. Those who think it's yucky or it ties them down too much. And I know way to many of them.
I'm starting to feel a tug in the direction of becoming a lactation consultant. I've just done some basic research and it seems harder than I thought it would be. But I still feel the tug. Maybe that's what I'll be when I grow up.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Joey
Once again I call on my prayer-warrior friends for little Joey. He's back in the hospital unable to keep feedings down. I was so sick when I was sick (ages 16-18) that I have watched my own son like a hawk for any signs of gut problems. Thankfully, none have surfaced. It was honestly a bit of shock to hear that Joey was facing gastro surgery. I really felt if it was going to be passed along, it would be to Gregory. But, like me, Joey has IBD on both sides of his family. None of this is bigger than God, and He can make the nerves grow in Joey's intestines just as easily now as when he was in-utero. I know He has a bigger purpose for this, whatever the outcome. He will carry us through.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
My niece
I became an aunt for the first time 32 years ago. My first niece was born 27 years ago, and her daughter was born 8 years ago. This week I got to meet my newest niece, Stella Rosalie, born to Greg's younger brother & his wife. She's a little bit - only 5lbs 6oz - but she's quite the keeper!
I love seeing my hubby holding a baby :)
She was asleep &/or nursing for a good while after we got there. Then when Mommy decided to change her diaper she woke up! Here she's holding onto her daddy's finger and looking straight at him.
Her Grandma Joan didn't want to hold her since she's so little. We talked her into it anyway. I think she's glad we did.
She slept in my arms for a bit too. Look at the sweet little hands...
I love seeing my hubby holding a baby :)
She was asleep &/or nursing for a good while after we got there. Then when Mommy decided to change her diaper she woke up! Here she's holding onto her daddy's finger and looking straight at him.
Her Grandma Joan didn't want to hold her since she's so little. We talked her into it anyway. I think she's glad we did.
She slept in my arms for a bit too. Look at the sweet little hands...
Thursday, November 1, 2007
an interesting article re: "minimally invasive education"
This article is really long but it's really worth the read!
From a Businessweek Online Daily Briefing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sugata Mitra has a PhD in physics and heads research efforts at New Delhi’s NIIT, a fast-growing software and education company with sales of more than $200 million and a market cap over $2 billion. But Mitra’s passion is computer-based education, specifically for India’s poor. He believes that children, even terribly poor kids with little education, can quickly teach themselves the rudiments of computer literacy. The key, he contends, is for teachers and other adults to give them free rein, so their natural curiosity takes over and they teach themselves. He calls the concept “minimally invasive education.”
To test his ideas, Mitra 13 months ago launched something he calls “the hole in the wall experiment.” He took a PC connected to a high-speed data connection and imbedded it in a concrete wall next to NIIT’s headquarters in the south end of New Delhi. The wall separates the company’s grounds from a garbage-strewn empty lot used by the poor as a public bathroom. Mitra simply left the computer on, connected to the Internet, and allowed any passerby to play with it. He monitored activity on the PC using a remote computer and a video camera mounted in a nearby tree.
What he discovered was that the most avid users of the machine were ghetto kids aged 6 to 12, most of whom have only the most rudimentary education and little knowledge of English. Yet within days, the kids had taught themselves to draw on the computer and to browse the Net. Some of the other things they learned, Mitra says, astonished him.
The physicist has since installed a computer in a rural neighborhood with similar results. He’s convinced that 500 million children could achieve basic computer literacy over the next five years, if the Indian government put 100,000 Net-connected PCs in schools and trained teachers in some basic “noninvasive” teaching techniques for guiding children in using them. Total investment required, he figures: Around $2 billion.
On Feb. 25, BW Online Contributing Editor Thane Peterson sat down with Mitra, a stocky 48-year-old with a mustache and a mop of graying black hair, in his tiny, triangular office at NIIT’s R&D center on the campus of the Indian Institute of Technology in the south part of New Delhi. Here are edited excerpts of their conversation.
From a Businessweek Online Daily Briefing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sugata Mitra has a PhD in physics and heads research efforts at New Delhi’s NIIT, a fast-growing software and education company with sales of more than $200 million and a market cap over $2 billion. But Mitra’s passion is computer-based education, specifically for India’s poor. He believes that children, even terribly poor kids with little education, can quickly teach themselves the rudiments of computer literacy. The key, he contends, is for teachers and other adults to give them free rein, so their natural curiosity takes over and they teach themselves. He calls the concept “minimally invasive education.”
To test his ideas, Mitra 13 months ago launched something he calls “the hole in the wall experiment.” He took a PC connected to a high-speed data connection and imbedded it in a concrete wall next to NIIT’s headquarters in the south end of New Delhi. The wall separates the company’s grounds from a garbage-strewn empty lot used by the poor as a public bathroom. Mitra simply left the computer on, connected to the Internet, and allowed any passerby to play with it. He monitored activity on the PC using a remote computer and a video camera mounted in a nearby tree.
What he discovered was that the most avid users of the machine were ghetto kids aged 6 to 12, most of whom have only the most rudimentary education and little knowledge of English. Yet within days, the kids had taught themselves to draw on the computer and to browse the Net. Some of the other things they learned, Mitra says, astonished him.
The physicist has since installed a computer in a rural neighborhood with similar results. He’s convinced that 500 million children could achieve basic computer literacy over the next five years, if the Indian government put 100,000 Net-connected PCs in schools and trained teachers in some basic “noninvasive” teaching techniques for guiding children in using them. Total investment required, he figures: Around $2 billion.
On Feb. 25, BW Online Contributing Editor Thane Peterson sat down with Mitra, a stocky 48-year-old with a mustache and a mop of graying black hair, in his tiny, triangular office at NIIT’s R&D center on the campus of the Indian Institute of Technology in the south part of New Delhi. Here are edited excerpts of their conversation.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Halloween
We were planning to go to New Orleans today. It would have really been my last chance to see my SIL pregnant. And little Joey (my great-nephew) is 4 weeks old and I've not seen him since he was a day old :( . He's doing pretty well and I wanted to visit him at home while I'd have the chance.
Joey & Mikey...
Last night Gregory told me he didn't want to go. No big surprise there. He doesn't want to go anywhere lately. This morning he was dragging butt getting ready and I eventually found him in tears. I wanted to go so bad. I had already made phone calls (MY phobia!) and we were expected and I'd have to call AGAIN to cancel. My spirit could see that he couldn't do it but my flesh wanted him to get over it. I got very frustrated and wasn't helping. I finally just picked him up and held him and said we wouldn't go. That got him even more upset and he started insisting we would go (I know he was thinking he'd be blamed) because I wanted to go. I told him that yes I wanted to go but that his feelings were more important. I told him I was upset because I don't want him to cheat himself out of ever doing anything because of the fear of leaving home. I even told him I knew how he felt - a burning hole in the belly. BINGO. His face just transformed. I saw the trust return to his face. I wasn't just blowing smoke; I did know how it felt. Anxiety. Not the road I want him to go down. But it's part of the package. He's super sensitive and that applies to food additives, clothing tags, "joking" comments, and any stress around him. He knew I wanted to go. And I know a part of him wanted to want to go. But he couldn't. We went outside and I made my phone calls (I lived) and we just hung out and had a nice afternoon outside.
We watched a spider build her web...
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And Gregory finally believes that he can swing himself. He's been enjoying our "fall" weather. Today he was working on his dismount...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting
And just to show how much he doesn't want to leave home - no trick or treating tonight! We've never had any TrT in our neighborhood. There really aren't any other kids. So we usually go with some friends to a neighborhood nearby that really goes all out. Saturday he got to go to a trunk or treat with his best friend and that was about as big of a crowd as he can handle. When we were talking about it today, he sounded like he didn't want to go (and that didn't break my heart). I told him he didn't have to go and he said, "Well I want some candy, so, yeah, I kinda have to go." His face lit up again when I said I had some candy & he did NOT have to go trick or treating. So he and his dad have been having a superhero cartoon marathon complete with dragging out comic books and the DC "encyclopedia" of superheroes.
As I typed all of this it occurs to me that the reason Gregory doesn't like to go to church with me is that it's a big church - seats about 1100 - and it's always crowded. He likes to watch it online with me sometimes & I take what I can get. I've had to really teach my faith by living it. No way could I get away with schooling it. But that's a blessing too. It's made me dive deeper.
Joey & Mikey...
Last night Gregory told me he didn't want to go. No big surprise there. He doesn't want to go anywhere lately. This morning he was dragging butt getting ready and I eventually found him in tears. I wanted to go so bad. I had already made phone calls (MY phobia!) and we were expected and I'd have to call AGAIN to cancel. My spirit could see that he couldn't do it but my flesh wanted him to get over it. I got very frustrated and wasn't helping. I finally just picked him up and held him and said we wouldn't go. That got him even more upset and he started insisting we would go (I know he was thinking he'd be blamed) because I wanted to go. I told him that yes I wanted to go but that his feelings were more important. I told him I was upset because I don't want him to cheat himself out of ever doing anything because of the fear of leaving home. I even told him I knew how he felt - a burning hole in the belly. BINGO. His face just transformed. I saw the trust return to his face. I wasn't just blowing smoke; I did know how it felt. Anxiety. Not the road I want him to go down. But it's part of the package. He's super sensitive and that applies to food additives, clothing tags, "joking" comments, and any stress around him. He knew I wanted to go. And I know a part of him wanted to want to go. But he couldn't. We went outside and I made my phone calls (I lived) and we just hung out and had a nice afternoon outside.
We watched a spider build her web...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting
And Gregory finally believes that he can swing himself. He's been enjoying our "fall" weather. Today he was working on his dismount...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting
And just to show how much he doesn't want to leave home - no trick or treating tonight! We've never had any TrT in our neighborhood. There really aren't any other kids. So we usually go with some friends to a neighborhood nearby that really goes all out. Saturday he got to go to a trunk or treat with his best friend and that was about as big of a crowd as he can handle. When we were talking about it today, he sounded like he didn't want to go (and that didn't break my heart). I told him he didn't have to go and he said, "Well I want some candy, so, yeah, I kinda have to go." His face lit up again when I said I had some candy & he did NOT have to go trick or treating. So he and his dad have been having a superhero cartoon marathon complete with dragging out comic books and the DC "encyclopedia" of superheroes.
As I typed all of this it occurs to me that the reason Gregory doesn't like to go to church with me is that it's a big church - seats about 1100 - and it's always crowded. He likes to watch it online with me sometimes & I take what I can get. I've had to really teach my faith by living it. No way could I get away with schooling it. But that's a blessing too. It's made me dive deeper.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Babies...
Well, Joey has been home for over a week and things are going pretty well. If his feedings and enemas continue going well, he should have his surgery in January. It was slow going for a while and there was talk of a temporary ostomy, but he's had several good days now and has surpassed his birth weight(finally!).
Still waiting for my other niece/nephew to be born. Only 16 more days till EDD! There's been a little concern about baby's size and the ammount of ammniotic fluid, but so far just "watching" things. My poor FIL is a nervous wreck. It doesn't take much to get him upset and his anticipation has gotten the better of him.
We're going ice skating today w/a few HS groups and hopefully there'll be a baby or two for me to snuggle. :)
[UPDATE] No babies to hold! Oh well. I had to follow the toddlers around instead.
BTW - I crocheted the hat Gregory's wearing!
Still waiting for my other niece/nephew to be born. Only 16 more days till EDD! There's been a little concern about baby's size and the ammount of ammniotic fluid, but so far just "watching" things. My poor FIL is a nervous wreck. It doesn't take much to get him upset and his anticipation has gotten the better of him.
We're going ice skating today w/a few HS groups and hopefully there'll be a baby or two for me to snuggle. :)
[UPDATE] No babies to hold! Oh well. I had to follow the toddlers around instead.
BTW - I crocheted the hat Gregory's wearing!
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