Halloween

We were planning to go to New Orleans today. It would have really been my last chance to see my SIL pregnant. And little Joey (my great-nephew) is 4 weeks old and I've not seen him since he was a day old :( . He's doing pretty well and I wanted to visit him at home while I'd have the chance.

Joey & Mikey...

Last night Gregory told me he didn't want to go. No big surprise there. He doesn't want to go anywhere lately. This morning he was dragging butt getting ready and I eventually found him in tears. I wanted to go so bad. I had already made phone calls (MY phobia!) and we were expected and I'd have to call AGAIN to cancel. My spirit could see that he couldn't do it but my flesh wanted him to get over it. I got very frustrated and wasn't helping. I finally just picked him up and held him and said we wouldn't go. That got him even more upset and he started insisting we would go (I know he was thinking he'd be blamed) because I wanted to go. I told him that yes I wanted to go but that his feelings were more important. I told him I was upset because I don't want him to cheat himself out of ever doing anything because of the fear of leaving home. I even told him I knew how he felt - a burning hole in the belly. BINGO. His face just transformed. I saw the trust return to his face. I wasn't just blowing smoke; I did know how it felt. Anxiety. Not the road I want him to go down. But it's part of the package. He's super sensitive and that applies to food additives, clothing tags, "joking" comments, and any stress around him. He knew I wanted to go. And I know a part of him wanted to want to go. But he couldn't. We went outside and I made my phone calls (I lived) and we just hung out and had a nice afternoon outside.

We watched a spider build her web...

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And Gregory finally believes that he can swing himself. He's been enjoying our "fall" weather. Today he was working on his dismount...

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And just to show how much he doesn't want to leave home - no trick or treating tonight! We've never had any TrT in our neighborhood. There really aren't any other kids. So we usually go with some friends to a neighborhood nearby that really goes all out. Saturday he got to go to a trunk or treat with his best friend and that was about as big of a crowd as he can handle. When we were talking about it today, he sounded like he didn't want to go (and that didn't break my heart). I told him he didn't have to go and he said, "Well I want some candy, so, yeah, I kinda have to go." His face lit up again when I said I had some candy & he did NOT have to go trick or treating. So he and his dad have been having a superhero cartoon marathon complete with dragging out comic books and the DC "encyclopedia" of superheroes.

As I typed all of this it occurs to me that the reason Gregory doesn't like to go to church with me is that it's a big church - seats about 1100 - and it's always crowded. He likes to watch it online with me sometimes & I take what I can get. I've had to really teach my faith by living it. No way could I get away with schooling it. But that's a blessing too. It's made me dive deeper.