no, really...

The dog ate my homeschooling book!

Worried about Gregory

Gregory has been very depressed for several days. He's very down on himself (calling himself a dummy, idiot, stupid, etc) and makes scary statements about not wanting to be alive. He hits himself a lot and has hit another child (whose mother implied G was a bully!). This sort of behavior is what led to our discovery of his red dye sensitivity. I know he's had way too much sugar lately, and I've taken him off of it as of yesterday morning. He was miserable not having any sweets yesterday, but I'm not caving. I've explained to him that I believe he feels so bad because of the sugar, and I'm going to help him to feel better. He's not asked for any candy yet today. (any homeopathic remedies that'd help him detox?)

Add to the scenario the fact that none of us know how to handle a puppy (much less a 3 month old 20+ pound puppy!). We've all become "yellers" in the past few weeks. Yesterday we enrolled Bullitt (DH corrected my spelling of his name, LOL!) in puppy school, which will begin in 3 weeks. So the yelling has stopped. Since I know it'll be better soon, I don't have to worry about keeping him off the sofa forever, I just need to remind him to get down. I see a resolution coming, so I am not as stressed.

I'm also trying to get my hands on some books about bi-polar. I know my lousey mood is affecting him in a bad way. How can a kid be happy when he's always around an adult who isn't? At first, I felt researching bi-polar would give it a form of power. If I didn't speak about it, it didn't exist. But that hasn't been the case. I think I need some information to help see around the disease. I see signs of it in Gregory already and I want to be armed and ready, as it were.

So if you could pray for us as we journey down these roads of change, I'd appreciate it greatly.

Meeting friends in New Orleans

Gregory & I met Deanna & David (friends from Oklahoma vacationing in NO) at Cafe Du Monde in N.O. Monday. We had beignets while listening to a street guitar player, took a little walk to the river, then went for a drive. I was forbidden by my darling to go into St. Bernard parish, so we didn't see the worst. To be honest, I'm suprised he let me go at all. I had to remind him that David would be with us, not just "us girls". So we drove down Canal Street to the old cemetaries and then headed to the Lakeview area, where the 17th Street canal had broken & flooded. There wasn't as much debris around as I expected, but very little has been repaired. Some of those homes looked "fixable". Now, cost and structural things may keep it from happening, but it looked doable for some. We saw the lakefront, drove through Metairie which had wind damage and some flooding from the rain, but not the levee failures. It looks somewhat back to normal. There are blue tarp roofs and FEMA trailers and the trees look beat-up, but many of the businesses are open. Then we rode back into N.O. and saw the city park area. There were many more trees standing than I expected. There was more greenery than I expected. There was just mud covering much of it for so long, I didn't expect it to rebound so quickly. After we dropped David and Deanna off, we saw the UNO area and we saw 2 cleanup crews outside of houses in full hazzard suit garb. That was strange.

I'm not in any way saying it looks good down there, I just expected worse. There's still no electricity in most of those areas, and seeing major intersections as 4 way stops was strange. And the medians at the big intersections are full of small "yard signs", some handwritten. Some are looking for workers, others for work - demolition, cleanup, roofing, etc.

David took a picture of Deanna & I, but it's on her camera so y'all will have to wait. I think they'll be there till the weekend.

Oh and we saw the green chair (I never believed it was really dead). David was the gentleman and got out to take a picture for us. He also did a great job keeping Gregory entertained in the back seat of the car. The driving around got old for him quickly.

Non-bottle carries

Gregory had some problems with his top front teeth at about 20 months. It began as a hole in the tooth, then it cracked and before we got to the dentist, it broke. The dentist noticed the same beginning on the other front tooth. He said it likely happened in utero, the pulp and the enamel never bonded together. His logic (which I agreed with) was that since the natural enamel didn't bond well, neither would any filling or cap. So we let it be. Gregory never seemed to be in pain. In fact, the only thing done at that visit was a bit of filing of the broken tooth because it hurt me while nursing. He also told us that once the decay is black, it has stopped. Gregory has lost his bottom front teeth, but the 2 top front teeth aren't budgin yet. It's been so long since my sweetie's smile included "whole" front teeth.

And FWIW - he never had a bottle and I quickly corrected the dental assistant when she said "bottle carries". She and I nearly had a run in. When I told her he was still nursing at 20 months (she asked if he still took a bottle), she looked at me and said, "well, he's probably going to tell you it's time to stop that." My response was a very loud, "He'd better not! Is he a lactation consultant? Are you?" I think she made a note on the chart because the dentist didn't bat an eye about the nursing.

"unparenting"

----- Original Message -----
***The few people that I have spoken to about unschooling say that their experience has been that unschooling and unparenting go hand in hand with most folks.


I have seen unparenting. Kids come home from school (usually after-school care) and are shuffled off to their room behind closed doors. What goes on in there is a free-for-all until the adult can't stand the noise. Then the door is opened long enough to yell "Quiet!" (or some threat of physical voilence). They are allowed to come out long enough to eat, bathe, and then be shut out again to go to sleep and begin the routine again at 6 AM. Actually, those homes often have the strictest (and most rediculous) rules.

I have a feeling that is not what you were refering to. :)

We disclipline with grace. That means no punishment, no judgement or shame. Lots of talking! We talk about bad choices being made, and how they cause harm. We teach respect by showing respect. We teach our faith by living our faith. We teach pick up after yourself by picking up after ourselves. It's about lots of communication, lots of prayer, lots of faith and trust. And that takes a lot of effort. Nothing "un"parenting about it. It is non-coersive and non-punitive, but it's very hands on.

My strep story

When I was 8, I had strep throat. My mom says I didn't finish the antibiotic. A few weeks later, I had both Scarlet Fever and then Rheumatic Fever. Very sick - hospital for a week, no school for several weeks. For months I was on high doses of aspirin (I think for the joint pain). For the next 8 years, I took antibiotics daily to prevent getting strep again. Then at 16, I began passing blood in my stool and within a few weeks I was hospitalized and eventually had my colon surgically removed. The surgeons weren't able to tell if I had Crohn's disease or Ulcerative Colitis at the time. There wasn't much tissue left to test. A nurse brought up the subject of antibiotics possibly causing my gut problems and even brought some of her nursing school books for my mom to read. She probably got in trouble for that. The surgeons then said that they sent a sample for testing to see if the antibiotics had caused the ulceration, but that test came back negative (I do not believe any test was done. I think it is a total CMB lie). I refused to take the antibiotics any more. That was 22 years ago, and I've not had strep since (I've not had many antibiotics since either). I've also not had any more ulceration, though I get some autoimmune problems associated w/Crohn's. I did finally get a diagnosis about 10 years ago of "Crohn's Colitis", a combination of the 2 where the ulceration seems limited to the colon, but acts in other ways as Crohn's does.

Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble so much. And if I were dealing w/strep now, I'd go natural/homeopathic first. If that didn't help, I might reluctantly drag myself to an allopathic doctor.

BF soapbox

My father and 4 of his siblings (all in their 70s) were breastfed (dad nursed till he was 3). A fifth sibling was born after a 12 year gap, and he was formula fed (Grandma was told formula was better). He (Uncle Raymond) was sickly, and died 8 years ago from complications of Ulcerative Colitis. His whole body just shut down eventually. The rest of the siblings are as healthy as can be.

My sisters and I were all fed the carnation milk/karo syrup mix. My mom says when her OB asked if she would breastfeed, dad said, "absolutly not! We can afford formula!" My oldest sister is 53, has high blood presure, and is borderline diabetic. My middle sister is 49 and is always sick. She has Ulcerative Colitis and seems to always have something else wrong as well. I have Crohn's disease and all the fun side-conditions that go with it. We all take meds for depression (mine for bi-polar), we all suffer from migraines, and we all battle a weight problem.

How much is because of what we were fed as babies? I guess we can't ever really know. But there sure are a lot of coincidences.

No one in our family knows how long Gregory nursed. They didn't see him nurse past the age of 3. By then he could understand waiting a while or going to another room. He was taught that a person has physical boundaries. And he was taught to ask. The last several months of nursing were just at bed time.

For the record, he self-weaned just past his 6th b-day.