I'll do just about anything to keep from seeing an allopathic doctor. I had a lifetime of mostly bad experience with specialists and surgeons while a teenager. But since the age of 17, I've suffered from depression and anxiety. Most of that time I have been on meds. Most of that time I did not really like my doctors. At best I felt they were just guessing and at worst they were idiots. Part of the disease is the aversion to taking the meds. As a Christian, from time to time I question myself. If I truly gave this up to God, if my faith were just stronger, I'd be healed.
About 12 years ago Greg & I began seeing a GP that we both really like. He remembers from visit to visit who we are and that we are a family. About 3 years ago, I'd really had it with seeing psychiatrists who always seemed to prescribe the drug whose logo graced his coffee cup and note pad. They didn't listen. So I went to my GP with my baggage. He did listen, and after talking for quite a while we came to the conclusion that I was indeed mildly bipolar. With a bit of trial and error we've found meds that do help me. I discovered quite a while back that he is a Christian. My ring tone was a Newsboys song, and my phone rang while I was in his office. He commented that he really liked that song. We talked a little about that and he asked where I go to church. Since then, when I go for my med checks he'll ask me if I'm still making it to church and little things like that. Well I went to see him yesterday because I've been having panic attacks. We talked about what's been going on around me - stuff like my sisters not speaking to each other and Joey's illness. I told him I've been feeling like I'm failing those who need me. I told him I felt like if I just believed enough, I'd be healed. He said any feeling of guilt or condemnation is an attack straight out of the pit of hell and to recognize it as such and talk back to it. He recommended staying active with my church and keeping in contact with a Christian support system. I told him about my CCU sisters :). He even said, "It's very important to stay in the Word."
How blessed am I??
"Real wisdom is not the knowledge of everything, but the knowledge of which things in life are necessary, which are less necessary, and which are completely unnecessary to know." Leo Tolstoy
1 comment:
I'm glad you are finding the help you need.
I too have suffered from anxiety attacks since I was 19, I have been through te same experience as you. I have lots of issues and I am getting better since stopping all drugs and seeing a Homeopath :)
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