Why?

Why do adults think berating their children is small talk? I get ill standing in check-out lines hearing the complaints; "they'd play games all day if I'd let them", "they complain about school", "I cant wait for school/summer camp to start", "I could never spend everyday with my kids". So why did you have those kids? To send them away as soon and as often as possible? To have someone to control? To make yourself feel powerful?

It's bad enough when this disgusting banter is just among adults. But when I see little ones at their feet as they spew this garbage, it kills me. What kind of message are they hearing? "You can't control yourself," "I don't trust you," "I don't like being with you." Wow. How very sad. All of this negativity gets internalized whether you think they hear it or not (they do hear it and it doesn't go over their heads). "I can't control myself." "I cannot be trusted." "I am not worth spending time with."

I do not believe in praising every little thing a child does. That can be just as damaging, setting a standard that no child feels they can retain. "I have to be better."

Every child is an individual, God-created to be a unique person with unique talents and needs. I believe in guiding children, assisting them, to learn what those talents and needs are and to honor them. Take the time to get to know your child, and allow yourself to enjoy them just as they are.