Monday night @ midnight, Fallout: New Vegas was released (video game), and the night owls that we are were there to pick up the game. Gregory had a friend over, and Tuesday afternoon Hubby told him he needed to at least make an offer for the friend to play (bless his heart, he's used to having to wait for his turn & never even asked to play). Next thing I know, Landon (friend) is playing and Gregory is pouting and exuding negative energy. I assumed it was because he felt he had to hand the game over. I called him over to me to talk about it.
He sat down, face parallel to the floor, and I asked what the problem was. He just shook his head no and didn't speak. I didn't relent. He (& his dad) know by now that when I ask, "what's wrong?" I don't let it go. After a minute or so, with a cracking voice he says he's so stupid. I wasn't expecting that. I asked why he felt that way and he said he'd been playing for 2 hours without saving, and his character got killed, so he lost everything he'd done in that 2 hours. His broken heart was so heavy.
I picked up his chin with my hand and stared him in the eye. I told him he's not stupid and he responded "yes I am", several times. I started telling him he's not stupid, he made a mistake. That when I forget to buy tea bags (a hot commodity in the house) it didn't make me stupid. Told him I wouldn't allow someone else to be so mean to him, and I wasn't going to let him do it either. Looking him straight in the eye, I told him how smart, how capable, how lovable he is. Then I told him, "You are a smart, good person. Say it." He mumbled it quickly. "Again!" I said. He repeated. "Again!" "I'm a smart, good person." "Again!"...
After a couple of minutes, he was grinning while saying it, and then giggling. "Again!" With a smile on his face he says, "You know this is torture, right?" "Yep! Again!" We ended up laughing so hard our sides hurt. And most importantly, he was no longer believing the lies his "self" was telling him.
Thank you God for allowing me to be in and stay in the moment with him, and for the ability to help him out of a pit. Allow me to remember this lesson (what I thought he was upset about vs. the real reason) and the honor of watching him grow through it.
"Real wisdom is not the knowledge of everything, but the knowledge of which things in life are necessary, which are less necessary, and which are completely unnecessary to know." Leo Tolstoy
4 comments:
That is great! You are such an awesome mom :)
you are such an awesome mom! <3
You handled that with such grace and wisdom!
Well you are all very sweet for saying so, but I am much better at giving positive parenting advice than I am at following it sometimes. I'm just glad I didn't assume he was mad about sharing and that I remembered a few words I heard at my church's women's conference. I did some verbal plagerizing. :)
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