We waited 10 years for this. Never thought it would happen. I was even in denial throughout most of my pregnancy. I was prepared to, at any minute, have someone tell me that I wasn't pregnant, just fat.
Because of the surgeries I've had related to Crohn's Disease, I'd been told years before to not try vaginal birth. So early on, my doc marked my chart for a C/S. I remember sitting with my day planner (back when I knew what day of the week it was) in January and planning what would be a good day for my C/S. I was due August 13th, but I did not want to go into August pregnant! So I looked at the last week of July. Monday the 27th was my BIL's b-day, so we wouldn't choose that. I'd read that you don't want to be in the hospital over the weekend if you have a choice (having to get used to a different weekend staff), so I thought Weds. the 29th would be good. Greg could be with me the Weds. then go to work Thurs and Fri while my mom stayed with me at the hospital. Then we'd go home Saturday, and Greg could take the following week off to be home with us. I circled Weds., July 29 as the day. Further along in my pregnancy, I asked about scheduling the C/S and my OB said they'd let me go to 39 weeks. I was crushed. That put me in August again.
My best friend was pregnant with her 3rd son at the time, and due August 1st. She was induced Monday the 27th, had a vaginal birth, and went home the next morning. Tuesday the 28th I had an OB appointment. My mom went with me, and then we went over to the hospital to pre-register. After getting that taken care of, we walked the hospital and I showed her where the nursery was. We went shopping after that. Then I had an appointment to get my hair cut. It was a busy day. That evening, I told DH we needed to go see Brandie and her baby, because I might not be getting out of the house again before my C/S scheduled for 13 days away. I love my friend dearly, but we're 180 deg. apart on parenting style. We went for a visit, and with a house full of people, no one was holding the baby. His mom was so proud that no one had to hold him. I held him! Then I went home and rubbed my huge belly and said, "you can come anytime now baby. I promise I will hold you!".
I awoke at 5:00 to go pee. I wiped, got up, and then peed a little more, OOPS! So I did it again, and OOPS! So I got my book out and started reading about water breaking. DH asked why I was up and I told him. He jumped up and yelled "Let's go!". "No, baby, I'm having a C/S in 12 days!" His blank stare said it all. "Do you think the baby knows that?" he said. I wouldn't even call my doctor till after 7. When I did, he said , "well, go!" I didn't even realize until we were driving that I was having contractions about 4 minutes apart! We got to the hospital, and the escort asks, "are you in labor?" I think I said, "I guess." Total denial!
They got me upstairs quickly - remember I pre-registered yesterday! Once I was in a hospital gown, my water really broke WHOA! Then the contractions started to hurt. I was checked & was "closed shut", barely effaced, no where near ready for a delivery. But there was that magical "C/S" written across my chart. So here comes anesth. I guess I was a bit dehydrated because the nurse couldn't get my IV started. The anesth. got there, so he was about to try. He had no gloves on, and I said, "Umm, you're going to want to put gloves on, I have Hep. C." I'll never forget the look on his face. I'll bet he never forgets to put gloves on again.
So I am finally being wheeled to surgery, and I cannot stop crying. I was so scared. I've had so many surgeries and none have been good. It was a PTSD moment for sure. The epidural injection was not bad. I don't remember it hurting. I remember hearing nurses counting the equipment on the surgical trays. I guess they do a count before and after to be sure nothing is left behind. Feeling the epidural take over was horrible! It was as if the harder it was to move my leg, the more I wanted to do it. Losing feeling was the strangest sensation. DH joined me soon after that, and the OB finally arrived. I was told I'd feel some tugging when the baby was taken, but no pain. The anesth. offered me a mirror, and I regretfully said no. I didn't feel the incision, but the OB talked his way through. Then I did feel the tugging, which was wierd, but not painful. Then I hear DH (the one I was afraid would pass out) yell, "Head's out!". Next thing I know, a nurse is walking a baby across the room. I don't think I believed, really believed, I was pregnant until that moment. He looked like my FIL! DH got up and was watching the cleaning/checking. I reminded him to take pictures. Gregory was crying the whole time. Then they weighed him, swaddled him, and handed him to Daddy. That's when he stopped crying. A nurse took a picture of us all, then Gregory & DH went off to the nursery for more checking & I went off to recovery. Coming out of the epidural was equally strange. I remember I could move my right leg a little. I'd move it, and it'd hit something hard. I figured they'd put a board between my legs to keep me from hurting myself (I'm very medicated at this point). But when I looked, the hard thing my right leg was hitting was my still-numb left leg!
Gregory had some trouble breathing at first, and while he was away from me he was given a bottle of formula and a bottle of sugar water. I was so angry when I found out. I'm afraid I was very rude to the neonatologist who delivered that news. But that still makes me angry. No one had any good reason to put a nipple, formula, or sugar water (!!!!!) into my baby. By the time he got to me about 6 hours later he was already on an IV of anti-biotics "incase" he had a lung infection. We found out before leaving the hospital that he did not. My poor baby. Barely here 6 hours and his system had already been violated by 3 different substances that I never wanted him to have.
We were finally together about 4 that afternoon. Those huge brown eyes! I was in love immediately! I think we spent about 5 minutes just staring at each other. I unswaddled him and did a "once over". Yep, all parts accounted for. I must say that I think he has the most beautiful feet, then and now. He could be a foot model. I'd spend what seemed like hours just holding those little feet, or rubbing that left knee that had been in my ribs for so long.
We had trouble getting breastfeeding started. We found out later he had jaundice, so he was very sleepy at the breast. I did have a good lactation consultant team, and they worked hard to get us going. Pumping, stripping baby down, skin to skin contact. By the time we left the hospital, it was getting better. We dealt with the jaundice at home for several days, but his nursing got better, slowly, anyway. Once the jaundice was cleared, he nursed like a champ and began to gain one pound a week until at 12 weeks he weighed 19 pounds!
I can still remember being wheeled out of the hospital, thinking, "are they really going to let me take this baby home?" Some miracles are just that hard to believe.
A few notes of interest:
Gregory was born, of his own choosing, on July 29th, the day that I had decided way back in January would be perfect for my C/S.
There were a couple of things that I’d often said about my own pregnancy (long before I was pregnant)
1) I did not want to be hugely pregnant in August – due August 13th, delivered July 29th.
2) I thought it would be just perfect to be about 7 months pregnant when Greg graduated from LSU – he graduated May 22, 1998 when I was 7 months pregnant.
None of these things were planned by us. But God showed His fingerprints all over this child.
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